I tried to cry but no tears came forth.
I tried to feel hurt but all I was feeling was confused.
I shouldn't be feeling anything. I should feel numb.
But I don't feel numb. I don't feel anything at all.
Betrayed? Angry? Frustrated?
No. No. And no.
What am I supposed to feel?
Nothing at all. It was over. And I knew it. We lost contact. And I knew it.
A head's up would have been nice, sure. But not exactly needed or, and if I'm being completely honest, wanted.
Can't say I feel happy. But I think I feel relieved.
I guess that chapter if my life is now over and closed. The open ending is now finalized.
I'd be lying to myself if said I won't think about it, because I will. And I'll be hoping, always hoping that maybe someday we'll meet once more and will be able to talk like two old friends with no bitter thoughts and sour feelings.
I can't say I feel something. In truth, I feel nothing.
And that's okay.
I was never very good with my, or anyone else's, feelings. That's my default.
Songs that once meant so much to us and then proceeded to hurt me, can now be enjoyed once more. And I know I'll smile as I remember the good times we once had.
But to my dearest past, once so important to me and now forever engraved in my heart and never too far from my thoughts... Congratulations. And good luck and much happiness for you.
I can let you go now in a healthy matter. You have become free of me as I have become free of you.
This chapter-- no. This Book, my -our- past. Is closed.