Shop More Submit  Join Login
About Literature / Student Member Must you know?Female/Puerto Rico Recent Activity
Deviant for 3 Years
Needs Premium Membership
Statistics 175 Deviations 1,357 Comments 4,859 Pageviews

Newest Deviations

Favourites

Critiques

Beetlejuice,Beetlejuice,Beetlejuice!!!!! by Chuchy5
by Chuchy5

I think you really captured the essence of who Beetlejuice is. The colors the stripes and even the messy glitter seems to make up a mos...

Activity


Thoughts

I thought words would come to me and I would be able to write them down.
I keep deleting every single word I write.
Somehow… they're not enough.

But here goes noting...

~~*~~*~~

I saw her today.

I can’t believe it’s been six months already.

I saw her smiling.

I can’t believe she still takes my breath away.

I saw her.

I can’t believe she still has such an effect on me.

But how can I forget that soft sweet honey yellow and chocolate brown mixed up in those wondrous orbs?

I would have to be blind not to notice. Or dead.

Part of me wishes –wants— to cry. I keep closing my eyes, squeezing them tightly, to see if the stinging will either go away or bring forth the threatening tears.

God! I hope she’s happy. Truly, really, very happy. She deserves happiness, doesn’t she? Of course she does. She deserves all that and more. She deserves all that I couldn’t give her and then some. She’s earned it. She’s worthy of it. She’s owed it.

Stop it, goddamn you! Stop it!

Will it always be like this then? Will I see her and know that some part of me will die each day a little more? Hurting, dying… slowly… knowing its my own hell to pay.

Why does she still have such a hold on me? Why? I just don’t understand.

Enough, goddamn it! Stop! It’s over, remember?

I remember.

Get over it already.

I have.

But maybe that’s the problem. I’m over it but I still remember. Oh and how well I remember. I remember everything. I lie awake and barely sleep just remembering. Just like that one guy in that one book… ‘No matter what happens, I never forget the people in my heart…’ and I’ve tried. Everyone knows I’ve tried.

I sigh, I remember. I close my eyes, I see her. I clean, I feel her. Her every gift is everywhere.

Get rid of them.

Are you mad, bro? I can’t. I won’t. Every memory, no mater how painful, is as dear to me as the blood in my veins. So forget that.

There’ll be others…

Sure. There have been. I’ve lost track. But none like her. In my heart —where ever that foolish thing has ended up in—she’s the first and the last.

But she doesn’t care.

Oh aye, I know. It may seem that way… But I know that she knows that I know her. I know that she has adapted. She acts as if she doesn’t care but it’s her defense mechanism. And it’s quite brilliant, actually. She’s put everything away and locked it in some part of her beautiful head. Oh, aye, I know. I also know that’s how she copes with things. I know her. She’s not thinking about it, but I know she remembers. She remembers everything just as well as I. She just knows how to keep it under lock and key… unlike me.

I always did admire that of her.

That thought makes me smile. I always knew she was smart. I kept telling her she was smarter than she gave herself credit for. It makes me feel proud. A pride that’s, if truth be told, not mine to claim. What am I but a distant, nagging memory of times past?

You know she doesn’t want anything more to do with you. Why are you even writing this?

Not to hurt her, certainly not. Not to make her remember, her stubborn brain won’t let her. Aren’t I allowed to let my thoughts explain whatever’s left of my feelings? I have every right. So shut up and let me finish.

~~*~~*~~

To you, dearest Princess Mold, of beautiful honey and chocolate eyes, soft cute nose and breathtaking smile, I dedicate this prose.
I put pen to paper and thought of you once more.
I don’t regret it.
Please know this, and keep it well in mind, locked away in that vault where my heart surely rests…

I saw you today and I missed you.
I saw you today and I fell in love again.
I saw you today and I realize what I’ve lost.
I saw you today and I can’t stop…

Thinking… wishing… hoping… that someday… I’ll be able to hear from you again.

Best of wishes for you always.

Yours truly, and forever, as well you know,

~King Snail ~C



You always were a god-rotten stupid love-sick fool. But if this helps... So be it.
In the mind of a love-sick fool
Just inner ramblings. I never did learn to say goodbye. I think this says it all, don't you think, Princess?
Loading...
Feelings

I tried to cry but no tears came forth.

I tried to feel hurt but all I was feeling was confused.

I shouldn't be feeling anything. I should feel numb.

But I don't feel numb. I don't feel anything at all.

Betrayed? Angry? Frustrated?

No. No. And no.

What am I supposed to feel?

Nothing at all. It was over. And I knew it. We lost contact. And I knew it.

A head's up would have been nice, sure. But not exactly needed or, and if I'm being completely honest, wanted.

Can't say I feel happy. But I think I feel relieved.

I guess that chapter if my life is now over and closed. The open ending is now finalized.

I'd be lying to myself if said I won't think about it, because I will. And I'll be hoping, always hoping that maybe someday we'll meet once more and will be able to talk like two old  friends with no bitter thoughts and sour feelings.

I can't say I feel something. In truth, I feel nothing.

And that's okay.

I was never very good with my, or anyone else's, feelings. That's my default.

Songs that once meant so much to us and then proceeded to hurt me, can now be enjoyed once more. And I know I'll smile as I remember the good times we once had.

But to my dearest past, once so important to me and now forever engraved in my heart and never too far from my thoughts... Congratulations. And good luck and much happiness for you.

I can let you go now in a healthy matter. You have become free of me as I have become free of you.

This chapter-- no. This Book, my -our- past. Is closed.

The end
  • Mood: Winter Downs
Back from the dead. Just barely.
Been in the hospital for a while... Because of reasons.
But I'm back now. You won't believe how much I misse the green dA color.

How is everyone?

deviantID

HITCHICKSFTW
Must you know?
Artist | Student | Literature
Puerto Rico
A Hopeless Romantic.
A ghost.
An emotional wreck.
Keep your distance, I bite.
Get this. You mess with me you get two hits. I hit you and you hit the ground.
You do NOT want to Fcuk with this girl.
Kik me if you just wanna chat or anything. :shrug:
Proudaikido17 or message me through msn messenger, proudaikidoprincess17@hotmail.com
Be friends in Facebook if you want: Kaylainiris Lunae

Current Residence: My summer home, Crematoria.
deviantWEAR sizing preference: XL I need to be comfortable
Print preference: uhhh wut?
Favourite genre of music: DONT YOU GET IT?! Too many to NAME!
Favourite style of art: Freestyle!
Operating System: iphone4s
MP3 player of choice: iPod.
Shell of choice: How is this a question...?
Wallpaper of choice: ummm explain?
Skin of choice: in what context are you asking this...?
Favourite cartoon character: Many I cant name.
Personal Quote: Trust nobody. Hit me. I dare you. You'll end up on your ass.
Interests

AdCast - Ads from the Community

×

Groups

Comments


Add a Comment:
 
:iconphoenixkaption:
PhoenixKaption Featured By Owner May 12, 2014   Writer
Thanks for the fave~!
Reply
:iconmr-redx:
mr-redx Featured By Owner Jan 27, 2014  Student General Artist
Hey, how are things?
Reply
:iconsil333:
sil333 Featured By Owner Aug 20, 2013   Digital Artist
Thank you for the fav! :)
Reply
:icondathie:
dathie Featured By Owner Aug 9, 2013  Hobbyist Digital Artist
thank you very much for the fave of Gardevoir~ I'll protect you forever it really means a lot~ :icongardevoir--plz:
Reply
:iconjezebellover:
JezebelLover Featured By Owner Jul 19, 2013
Heyyyyy youuuuuu i'm waiting for something of your stories, girlie!
Reply
:iconhitchicksftw:
HITCHICKSFTW Featured By Owner Jul 20, 2013  Student Writer
Ill get on it! :)
Reply
:iconpartial-quatrefoil:
partial-quatrefoil Featured By Owner Jul 8, 2013
Tag, quality deviant, you’re it! Quality doesn't mean that you have a lot of followers, or a lot of messages. It means that you’re nice to other people, and you deserve to be happy. If you get this message, someone is telling you that they love you as you are, and they don’t care how many followers you have. If you break the chain, nothing will happen. But it’s just good to let someone know that you love them!
Reply
:iconjezebellover:
JezebelLover Featured By Owner Jun 19, 2013
Thanks for the watch, babe ;)
Reply
:iconhitchicksftw:
HITCHICKSFTW Featured By Owner Jun 19, 2013  Student Writer
Anything for a cutie ;p
Reply
:iconjezebellover:
JezebelLover Featured By Owner Jun 19, 2013
Too sweet ;)
Reply
Add a Comment: